ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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