Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it

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(386): View more from Florida

Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.

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(217): View more from Illinois

getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Pants are for mortals

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