Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize