sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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