i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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