Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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