The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
