So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
