No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize