I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
