i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
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My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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