is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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