Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
