; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
