Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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