i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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