I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
