Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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