just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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