He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
