Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
