i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize