We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I look better un-naked...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
