clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
