wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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