don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
