ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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