If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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