Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
