Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
