kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i barfeds in our rink
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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