I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
