i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
