So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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