p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
