He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
