He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
