is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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