Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think my moral compass just broke
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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