You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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