her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
