I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
