Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
