Dude my mom stole all your condoms
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
