In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
