Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
