smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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