YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
