the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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