Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
