stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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