Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
