I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
