i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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