Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
