your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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