please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
