booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I love you. Go after that dick
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