Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
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i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
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Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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