xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize