home. puking in laundry basket.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The power of my boobs compel you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
