Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
