I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
