I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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