I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
